Last Thursday, i did the unthinkable, the amazing and perhaps also quite the irrational - i joined the queue for Bak Kwa in Chinatown. It's unthinkable, amazing and irrational all at once because 1) i usually won't bother to join any queues for anything, even if it's for some free gift; 2) i don't have an insatiable craving for Bak Kwa; and, most importantly, 3) the queue for Bak kwa is, without a doubt, ridiculously long, it defies logic why anyone would want to join the interminable queue when there are other places that sell the same product. I hardly think the succulent bak kwa justifies the insane amount of time spent queuing for it and watching the ceaseless Chinese New Year crowd pass by. But, whatever you may say about my act, for once i decided i would join my fellow countrymen in their favourite pastime - queuing for, well, just about anything. And if you haven't an inkling which Bak Kwa i am referring to, it's that all-famous Lim Chee Guan bak kwa in Chinatown, reputedly Singapore's best-selling barbecued pork, or rou gan in Chinese.
As I've said, there wasn't some compelling reason why i had to queue for Lim Chee Guan's bak kwa. This may seem suspiciously unconvincing, but it is true that i just decided that this year i would join the queue for the seemingly irresistable bak kwa that has Singaporeans all over flock down to Chinatown every Chinese New Year to buy it. Maybe it is so that i can proudly proclaim to friends and relatives alike that i've eaten Lim Chee Guan's Bak Kwa while they have to make do with their inferior bak kwa from, er, anywhere else that's not Lim Chee Guan's. Yep, like so many arbitrary class distinctions pervasive in our society, i can now be a Lim Chee Guan Bak Kwa snob. It's really not that difficult. I mean, all it takes is merely to queue for no less than 3-hours on the outside of a five-foot way in Chinatown, and, for that 3-4 interminable hours, allow yourself to be part of a specimen that is constantly gawked at by members of the public. And occasionally, Caucasian tourists may join the latter group, expressing amazement and disbelief at the organised herd which seemed immobilized to their spot.
When i joined the queue the bak kwa shop wasn't even within sight, at least not until after more than an hour when i finally seemed to have made some discernible advancement in the queue. During that eternity before i descended upon the inside of the heavenly shop, i had to entertain myself to keep myself sane. I hadn't had lunch and i told myself i will eat bak kwa silly when i finally lay my hands on it - it's my way of taking revenge on my self-inflicted, arduous journey. I wasn't like the Auntie in front of me and the other two Aunties two persons behind me, all of whom must be experienced customers of Lim Chee Guan. The former had with her the I-weekly magazine, which she must have read every single word from the first page to the last while queuing up. Once, she turned back to look at how long the queue had formed behind us, and a self-satisfied grin formed on her face, a sign that surely suggested she relished the sight. For she's no longer the last few in the queue and the queue was continually renewing itself.
The latter must have sought each other's company for this quest, and they took turns to queue and rest. They had brought drinks along, while there i was, alone in the queue (like many others, of course), unable to visit the toilet, sick of reading about 19th century history and suppressing the growling in my stomach. All for some good-tasting pork! piak.
The lady just behind me, i heard her speak on the phone, had taken half-a-day's leave and she was joined by her boyfriend midway. When the boyfriend asked her if she would be helping to buy bak kwa for her relatives (which really means the entire family clan) she began in earnest to list out her relatives and say who wanted or didn't want. In case you gasp at this, let me assure you that almost everyone queuing was buying tons of pork not only for themselves, but for their friends and relatives, and maybe the friends and relatives of their friends and relatives. I wanted to call up people but i realised i've got only enough cash to buy like a pathetic 2 kg (which, if you think about it, is actually disgustingly A LOT). Did i mention also that the price of bak kwa is reaching astronomical levels as Chinese New Year approaches? Again, being a first-time participant of this insane activity, i didn't expect that.
Friends who later learned that i have bought bak kwa from said shop had only two responses. Either they go, 'You're crazy', or they will look at me accusingly and exclaim, 'Bo jio!' (why didn't you ask and help me buy!)
I am not complaining now. The famous Lim Chee Guan bak kwa does live up to its reputation. I don't care if you are eating mei zhen xiang or xiang wei's bak kwa, to me, they are second-rate - they have to be.
Happy Chinese New Year!
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