Enjoy your work(.)(?)

Some of my friends on hearing where i work remark that my job seems to be or sounds like the kind of job that I like. It always makes me wonder if it's the job that gives the impression or are there some traits which people associate with me that lead them to make that assessment so readily. I mean, how much do they know about the nature of my work to form that opinion?

And when asked that dreaded question Do you like your job? I am inevitably at a loss of words. I become hesistant. As with so many questions in life, it's never a clear-cut Yes or No. Even to my colleagues whom I know silently measure me by my words, I never offer an enthusiastic 'yes' even though this would have been a politically-correct and easy answer. I have to be truthful with myself.

I once heard that in order to get the job you want - it was at a career seminar - you need to have three As: Aspiration, Ability, Action. You need to have a goal, an aspiration which sets out what you want to achieve. Then you need to possess the abilities required to help you achieve your goal. So for instance, a person who desires to be a doctor must possess medical skills; someone who aspires to be a writer would need to have real writing abilties. As for action, it is necessary to help translate your abiltiies into real output, to materialise your dream, so to speak.

But what if I want to achieve something but i realise i only possess two of the three As? What if i aspire to be something, i worked for it - but only to realise that I lack the ability? The purpose of the three As as a concept is that it helps us manage our expectations and make realistic decisions about what we want and can do in life.

I also came across a blogger who wrote: What you are good at, you may not enjoy doing; what you enjoy doing, you may not be good at.

How true.

Times have changed

Whatever happened to Times Bookshop at Centrepoint? I headed there after work last week to get wrapping paper and was quite surprised to see that its retail space has shrunk, drastically. It used to occupy two floors but now it's almost one-fifth of its erstwhile size, or maybe even smaller. I'm not sure if it's going to be shifted to the new extension of Centrepoint or that is the permanent state; heck, i didn't even realise it has downsized! If the change is permanent, i think it's a matter of time before the current minuscule retail space gives way to something else. The location of Times Bookshop, both in Orchard Road and within Centrepoint, simply does not favour good business. With Borders and Kino as the dominant players, other bookstores are just going to find it extremely hard to increase their market share. Methinks Times Bookshop lacks a core identity and brand appeal - so important in today's business - to win over more customers.

Feeling out

After a while, it became quite apparent that i shouldn't have come. I was like a solitary peasant in an aristocratic group, or a piece of chinese chess amidst several pieces of English chessmen. The incongruity extends to our dress attire: I was the only one in business wear - having come down from work - they in casual clothes. I wasn't made to feel out of place, but the unfortunate fact is that I am out of place. The conversations were spontaneous and free-flowing, laughter aplenty, setting cozy (8 of us around a table by the pool). But i hardly contributed to the converstations, and lesser still to the laughter that erupted every few minutes.

They recounted scandals of classmates, traded comments, shared knowing jokes, and contested opinions; I tried my best to look comfortable and involved, recalled hard some of the names that surfaced, and smiled weakly when smart jibes and jokes were exchanged. Their openness and unreserved comments spoke of the camaraderie that was forged in the past few months, during which their interaction must have been intense and extensive, as necessitated by the structure of the course; my silence and loss showed the extent to which i had distanced from them and from studies.

As the night stretched on, it became more painful for me. I couldn't partake in the conversations because I barely knew the issues and people they spoke about. They talked with much vigour, laughed heartily, while I looked cheerless, tired from the long day at work. It was all the more awkward for me because we were a small group, huddled round a retangular wooden table with drink bottles and unfinished pizza on it. And so i could only sit and listen, hoping my odd presence would be forgotten. I thought of leaving early a few times but decided against it as that would only reveal my uneasiness and accentuate my sense of alienation. But I wasn't deluded: much as i knew how out of place i was, they must have also felt the same of me; decorum forbids them to make any mention of my obvious silence and displacement.

Finally time was on my side. Sensing it was an appropriate moment to announce my departure, I excused myself and told them i had to catch the last train - which was true. I bade them farewell, the host thanked me for coming, then I walked down the slope and out of the gate, hastening my steps as I moved further away from them, further from the isolation and sense of unbelonging that engulfed me the whole time i was there.

work and movie

One of the perks of working in Orchard Road, I found out recently, is that i am asked (out of convenience) to watch movies more frequently than if i were to work in, say, Jurong or Tampines. Not that I'm such a good company, but because when people get FREE movie tickets at the last minute and need to find a movie-mate, it might be wise (calculated) of them to ask a friend who works in the bustling shopping district if he would like to catch a (free) show. Cathy CineLeisure seems to be giving out plenty of movie tickets, for free. Either that or my friends - boss included - are such lucky (well-connected) people who get complimentary (free) movie tickets every now and then.

All (three) in a day

ONE. The train slowed to a halt as it pulled into the station. Then the doors opened, and people filled up the empty spaces like atomic particles rushing to occupy a vacuum that's suddenly opened up.

I looked up from my seat and instantly, I recognised the lady. She was one of the first to enter the train, no doubt because she must have waited at the edge of the platform where she would be able to enter first. Quick and determined, she moved quickly towards the centre of the carriage and stood with her stocky frame firmly before me. Within a few seconds, whilst some people were still inching their way in at the doors, she had already taken out her book - a chinese romantic novel, it seemed, the type that has words running from top to bottom, right to left - and continued where she had last finished.

At the next station, the person seated to my left alighted, and she moved to occupy the seat. Nothing special or unusual about the lady, just that this encounter had occurred the day before, exactly as it had happened today. On two consecutive mornings, i was to meet the same lady who stood before me, then sat next to me after my neighbour alighted, and on the same side of me to boot. I wonder if she had noticed the young man next to her was the same person she stood in front of and then sat next to in two days.

TWO. Lunchtime. We took a cab to Bugis Junction for lunch. I was mildly surprised at bumping into her (my secondary school classmate) and even more surprised that she was in casual clothes more suited for wearing at home. But that still wasn't the most surprising thing.

"Aren't you working today?" I asked.

"Oh, I had my wedding banquet here (Hotel Continental) yesterday," she smiled.

"You were here for a wedding banquet yesterday?" I queried, not sure if i heard the right thing, but no doubt sounding very silly.

She smiled even more cheerfully, then repeated somewhat more slowly, "I had my wedding banquet here yesterday."

My eyes widened as I offered my hand to congratulate her. It was an afternoon like any other day. But today I met a former classmate, same age as me, who just tied the knots yesterday, and is now a wife of somebody. Of course she's not the only person of my age who I knew has renounced her single status. But it was nevertheless a huge surprise to meet a friend who's newly married just a day ago. I was introduced to her husband - a fine young chap who spots an honest, well-mannered look. My friend had just deposited what must be a generous sum of ang pow money received the night before. For she was all smiles throughout our conversation.

THREE. On the train, again. I - seated down, again. The train doors opened, and a familiar figure moved past me towards the centre of the carriage. I slapped her hand lightly; she turned and greeted me with a surprised look.

"See, it's fate that we have to meet this week," I happily remarked. (Val wasn't able to join the group of us for dinner on Sat.)

I was tired but happy to catch up with her for the rest of the journey.

So much for coincidence. All in a day.

Trivia

I thought about setting up another blog where i could, on a more regularly basis, drop a few lines, rant about the day's work and write other trivial stuff which no one but myself would bother. I have in mind not a diary of my daily life, just a space where i could write about little, inconsequential thoughts that randomly run through my mind now and then. Like how i am so glad to be wearing berms and slippers on weekends because i'm in shirt and stiff shoes the rest of the week. Or how I realise i take the mrt without even looking at the signboards because I knew intuitively which direction to head towards the correct platform. I wish to tell a colleague - anyone - that i see this same guy having his breakfast at the kopitiam at our building so often that i wonder if he never got sick of eating the same food every day, or so it seems. But i never did.

I don't wish to get started on all these trivia here at this blog because i never meant this blog for that purpose. But i am also too tired (lazy) to search for another blog site. So, for better or for worse, I may be writing more often, albeit short entries which are possibly insignificant observations. I just badly need to write - write about topics which are not official, not work-related, not business-like. I really do.

Sat late night

It's been a long time since i stayed out so late - late, meaning any time after 1am. I was with L at Wala Wala and we left the place after the Unexpected performed their final set for the night. Because we sat near the amplifier, we couldn't really talk while the band was playing. But like the rest of the people in the bar, we were quite contented just listening to the band performing live. The music was awesome, it had our complete attention and there were many times when we felt like getting to our feet and dancing to the music. I haven't really been able to unwind like this since work started, and now being able to sit down, enjoy a beer and listen to a live band performance was a wonderful, wonderful experience. Not to mention the place is now smoke-free. :)