it will come to fruition!

Since that wonderful weekend that i blogged about previously, it's been one hell of a busy period for me. I'm still sane, but i suspect my mind is drained and my body is atrophying. Just earlier, i had my dinner at 11.30pm. It was a bowl of unhealthy fishball noodles (dry). You know, those kind that have a lot of vinegar, oil and MSG. I was feeling faint in the cab before that and had decided - without nary a thought - i shall have the fishball noodles at the kopitiam. Then when i reached home, which was nearly midnight, i felt bloated and wanted to puke. I'm pathetic, i know.

In any case, as if to counter the toxins that have effortlessly accumulated inside my body, I have taken to eating fruits in the morning. Quite regularly, i must say. I used to have appetite for food like fried bee hoon and half-boiled eggs in the morning. But some time ago - i think after i had recovered from the last major illness - the appetite for such Singaporean-styled breakfast started waning. I don't have much appetite in the morning. That's when i switched to eating fruits. I buy cut-fruits from the food court below my workplace.

It's a good habit to eat fruits in the morning, Shawn told me one day. Taking fruits in the morning aids in hydrating our body efficiently, not to mention the benefits with regard to one's bowel movement. So, at least i was doing something right. I guess one reason why my body hasn't succumbed to the bugs is because i've been eating fruits daily, in the morning! Now i only need to get my exercise routine back - but only after two more weeks, when THE event is over. I'm eagerly awaiting that day.

Wunderful Wkend

This weekend, i did absolutely nothing productive except eat, sleep and watch TV.

And it was absolutely wonderful.

No grudging trudging back to office; no sense of burden weighing on my shoulders; and no obligation to wake up early.

unexpected in life

Just a few days back, yet another Singaporean succumbed to the capricious, nasty blows of Nature - he was struck dead by a falling tree branch.

I remember it was just recently that a woman got killed by a falling tree branch while two men died in similar circumstances while trekking at Mount Ophir in Malaysia.

During a car journey last weekend, I commented on the tragedy of those incidents (that was before the latest incident occurred). I wondered whether falling branches/trees might now factor into risk assessment in SAF training. After all, many soldiers do spend a fair amount of time in the jungles. Sometimes for an entire day, they could be camping out in the midst of thickly-vegetated areas which have many trees.

It was then that K, who was giving Kenneth and I a lift home, said something that really struck me: 'You know what this means? It means their (the victims') time is up.'

He said it in all solemnity, without any disrespect or being rude. I was struck by his words because i thought they contained a sense of the truth quite simply.

The truth is that those people were unfortunately killed by a falling tree or tree branch. The truth is also that they happened to be at a particular spot at a specific time when a tree branch had to break and strike them where they were. It's all very unexpected, almost incredulous, but things nevertheless occurred that way.

I am not a religious person, but i suppose someone religious would agree with K's words in a religious sense.

To me, I regard K's words in a somewhat philosophical way. There comes a point in life when our time would be up; indeed, it's only a matter of when.

But when that time comes, i like to think that many of us would have had time to be mentally prepared, if not already resigned to what is the inevitability of Life. But for those whose life had come to an abrupt stop, it is exactly because they had passed on ahead of their time that it seemed abtly, if cruelly, true that their time is up - too soon, too unexpectedly, with no sense of forewarning to the loved ones left behind.

GSS comes to the heartland

The Great Singapore Sale is everywhere. Or should i say everyone seemed to have latched onto the GSS bandwagon?

I went to the market-place this morning only to find the GSS poster plastered all over. There was even a marquee, albeit a small one, which appears to serve as a gift-exchange station for 'shoppers'. I walked past and momentarily caught the words 'sure-win' on a banner hung inside the marquee. Ah, the usual gimmicks.

Talk about the GSS going into the heartlands. Well, it was right before my eyes. But i wonder what sort of things are on sale. At the market-place, there are mainly standalone provision shops, including the ubiqutous Watson's, Guardian and what have you, which sell mostly daily necessities. Maybe the prices of the goods have been reduced a little, but these discounts do not quite gel with the GSS image that i have in mind. I am talking about luxury items, like clothes, watches, sneakers, accessories - things which are galore in downtown Orchard Road, you know.

In any case, without the GSS, there is always an air of excitement at the market-place. Everny weekend without fail, nearby and faraway residents descend here to enjoy good hawker food. Without the GSS branding, the shops would do just as well, i reckon, since the customers are their usual patrons. It's quite unlikely you'd attract people who do not live in the vicinity.

Tissue paper from afar

Two weekends ago, LS and I had dinner/supper at Gluttons' Bay after catching a theatre production at the Esplanade.

We were tucking into our char kway teow and hokkien mee (whose standard is not always consistent, in our opinion) when a guy appeared out of nowhere at our table. He looked our age, dressed like us - in t-shirt and jeans, that is.

Actually, i can't remember what he looks like. What i do remember is his unexpected request: 'Can i have a piece of tissue paper from you please?' Perfectly normal, nothing funny, you say. I agree, except that this guy wasn't seated next to us; he was seated faraway.

I admit i was surprised because i didn't notice him coming. But when he walked away and did not stop until he returned to his seat which was a good couple of tables away from us in the middle section (we were seated at the far end), i became curiously puzzled. LS and I started laughing and wondered why the hell did the guy approached us for just a piece of tissue paper instead of asking other patrons who were nearby his table. It just didn't seem very logical.

We could only guess that since my packet of tissue paper was (visible) on the table, he must have walked around to spot someone who definitely had tissue paper with him before venturing his request.

As i told LS, this must count as one of the 101 bizzare incidents in the year 2007 for me. She chuckled, and we continued digging into our food, still amazed at the unexpected request from a faraway 'neighbour'.

Crowded out

When it was reported some time ago that Spore is looking to acheiving 6.5million population in the future, i was sceptical and dismayed by the target our leaders seemed to have set. Yes, the infrastructure could be developed further, but i am not one convinced by hard facts. I only have to take the train everyday, try to get a movie ticket or walk in town to feel the overbearing number of people around sharing the same, limited space with me. And then i wonder how things could get any better as the population (with a larger proportion of foreigners) grows. Do our leaders, national planners and the like take public transport and dine at places where ordinary folk could only afford?

Each time i go to Johore I could literally feel the immense difference. I know the pasture always seems greener on the other side - this i readily concede, for when i find myself having to endure incredibly stinky toilets in Msia, I would think of the clean toilets in Spore. That's double standard, to be sure. But it doesn't stop me from appreciating the greener pasture - literally - of which our neighbour has abundance. Such joy it is to see - and feel - only unobstructed verdant landscapes that seem to have no end! Yet it is not a sense of overflowing enthusiasm and vibrant joy that one feels but rather, it's a state of being unaffected by negative vibes of overcrowding.

Of ippt and wedding

Took my ippt today, and i am happy with my results. In fact, i surprised myself by completing the 2.4km run in a shorter time compared to last year - and i had thought i would have done worse this year! Anyway, my timing was good enough, in my opinion, for a reservist man who doesn't run regularly. In order not to have to do my ippt in the coming in-camp, i had to 'persuade' myself to jog/run in preparation for today's ippt. Now that it's over, i have about a year's time to rot before i start to train for the next ippt.

I took my ippt with KC, who is going to shed his bachelor status in two week's time. He took the opportunity to pass me his wedding invitation card, which has a simple yet classy appearance. There's a photo of him and his wife-to-be inside the card. Which makes me wonder if it is de rigeur to include a photo of the bride and bridegroom in a wedding invitation card these days.

And so I found out more about his invitation, offered my assistance if he so needs. We also talked about work, how it's such a chore to have to do something which we don't enjoy. Anyway, he wasn't terribly excited about his wedding; in fact, he seemed tired, and besides, he did say that he can't wait for it to be over. Wedding's supposed to be a joyous occasion isn't it? But hearing from him, i think there are things beyond his control that made the affair less happy than it should have been. So he's not to be blamed after all.

I told him quite simply, that if and when i hold my wedding, it would be a simple affair that involves close friends, held in a cozy environment, free from all the shackles of tradition and familial obligations. It's going to be MY wedding, you know, not anyone else's.

Pay matters.

Yesterday in the ST it was reported that fresh grads joining the civil service are going to get higher starting salaries. Today, comparing our situation with the civil service, my colleagues and I were lamenting about our renumeration viz-a-viz the amount of work we had to do.

Not a very good sign, I must say.

Depreciation and Appreciation

We were at a petrol kiosk refueling the car. That's when I spotted ZM, an ex-secondary schoolmate of ours, who was in front of our car topping up petrol.

Adr called out his name, whereupon ZM expressed surprise and came over to say hi. Meanwhile, LS and I had stayed inside the car. I don't know ZM personally, so only Adr and LS did the talking.

"My, he has depreciated," LS remarked almost matter-of-factly after ZM left. "He was actually one of the better looking guys when we were in primary school."

"Depreciated. Wah, must you use this term on him?" Adr replied as he started the engine.

I was amused and can't help but ask, "So have we depreciated also?"

She chuckled before saying, "No, you guys have appreciated."

I must say that sounds positively reassuring.

Loss for words

Although I am able to access the internet everyday, it's been such a long time since i browsed the usual blogs and websites that i once visited every now and then. Not to mention paying to a visit to this blog. There was no dust to shake off, but it feels like I have chanced upon an old, abandoned diary. The past entries are still accessible, but one is hesistant to read them, as if they recorded shameful secrets that are best dusted down memory lane.

Perhaps it is as well that now is 2.30am. I didn't intend to stay up till this late. I certainly didn't intend to blog. Reading someone's blog, i was inspired to write something; but when i finally started typing away, words seem to elude me. Now's a good time to stop - and go to bed, i guess.

Enjoy your work(.)(?)

Some of my friends on hearing where i work remark that my job seems to be or sounds like the kind of job that I like. It always makes me wonder if it's the job that gives the impression or are there some traits which people associate with me that lead them to make that assessment so readily. I mean, how much do they know about the nature of my work to form that opinion?

And when asked that dreaded question Do you like your job? I am inevitably at a loss of words. I become hesistant. As with so many questions in life, it's never a clear-cut Yes or No. Even to my colleagues whom I know silently measure me by my words, I never offer an enthusiastic 'yes' even though this would have been a politically-correct and easy answer. I have to be truthful with myself.

I once heard that in order to get the job you want - it was at a career seminar - you need to have three As: Aspiration, Ability, Action. You need to have a goal, an aspiration which sets out what you want to achieve. Then you need to possess the abilities required to help you achieve your goal. So for instance, a person who desires to be a doctor must possess medical skills; someone who aspires to be a writer would need to have real writing abilties. As for action, it is necessary to help translate your abiltiies into real output, to materialise your dream, so to speak.

But what if I want to achieve something but i realise i only possess two of the three As? What if i aspire to be something, i worked for it - but only to realise that I lack the ability? The purpose of the three As as a concept is that it helps us manage our expectations and make realistic decisions about what we want and can do in life.

I also came across a blogger who wrote: What you are good at, you may not enjoy doing; what you enjoy doing, you may not be good at.

How true.

Times have changed

Whatever happened to Times Bookshop at Centrepoint? I headed there after work last week to get wrapping paper and was quite surprised to see that its retail space has shrunk, drastically. It used to occupy two floors but now it's almost one-fifth of its erstwhile size, or maybe even smaller. I'm not sure if it's going to be shifted to the new extension of Centrepoint or that is the permanent state; heck, i didn't even realise it has downsized! If the change is permanent, i think it's a matter of time before the current minuscule retail space gives way to something else. The location of Times Bookshop, both in Orchard Road and within Centrepoint, simply does not favour good business. With Borders and Kino as the dominant players, other bookstores are just going to find it extremely hard to increase their market share. Methinks Times Bookshop lacks a core identity and brand appeal - so important in today's business - to win over more customers.

Feeling out

After a while, it became quite apparent that i shouldn't have come. I was like a solitary peasant in an aristocratic group, or a piece of chinese chess amidst several pieces of English chessmen. The incongruity extends to our dress attire: I was the only one in business wear - having come down from work - they in casual clothes. I wasn't made to feel out of place, but the unfortunate fact is that I am out of place. The conversations were spontaneous and free-flowing, laughter aplenty, setting cozy (8 of us around a table by the pool). But i hardly contributed to the converstations, and lesser still to the laughter that erupted every few minutes.

They recounted scandals of classmates, traded comments, shared knowing jokes, and contested opinions; I tried my best to look comfortable and involved, recalled hard some of the names that surfaced, and smiled weakly when smart jibes and jokes were exchanged. Their openness and unreserved comments spoke of the camaraderie that was forged in the past few months, during which their interaction must have been intense and extensive, as necessitated by the structure of the course; my silence and loss showed the extent to which i had distanced from them and from studies.

As the night stretched on, it became more painful for me. I couldn't partake in the conversations because I barely knew the issues and people they spoke about. They talked with much vigour, laughed heartily, while I looked cheerless, tired from the long day at work. It was all the more awkward for me because we were a small group, huddled round a retangular wooden table with drink bottles and unfinished pizza on it. And so i could only sit and listen, hoping my odd presence would be forgotten. I thought of leaving early a few times but decided against it as that would only reveal my uneasiness and accentuate my sense of alienation. But I wasn't deluded: much as i knew how out of place i was, they must have also felt the same of me; decorum forbids them to make any mention of my obvious silence and displacement.

Finally time was on my side. Sensing it was an appropriate moment to announce my departure, I excused myself and told them i had to catch the last train - which was true. I bade them farewell, the host thanked me for coming, then I walked down the slope and out of the gate, hastening my steps as I moved further away from them, further from the isolation and sense of unbelonging that engulfed me the whole time i was there.