Ever tired of making new friends?

I am hardly what one would label a sociable person. While (I like to believe that) I am not socially inept in terms of mingling and speaking with people, I readily admit that I don't bother to know more people, make more friends, or even reconnect with old acquaintances and long-lost friends. Not that I dislike making new friends; it's just that i am apathetic and prefer not to. Various factors may have contributed to this state of affairs, the least of which is not the age factor.

With growing years behind you, you kind of develop a weariness and often prefer that things stay the way they are. Not everything in life, but almost certainly it extends to your social circle. Content with the pool of friends whom you've grown comfortable with, you somehow become less amenable to making new friends - unless these strangers share with you certain traits which make either sides click right away.

Making new friends, developing a friendship - this takes time and requires both committment and sincerity. After all, most of your current good friends became good friends after you've spent a long period of time (likely to be during your formative years) together. The friendship didn't establish itself over night.

A certain level of cynicism also seems to accompany age. As the trite saying goes, it takes two to clap, two to tango. A clap can only be as loud as each hand makes it to be. Partings, faltering, flourishing - these are as natural in relationships as death is certain in life. More than anything else, I realise reciprocity is necessary in making a friendship last. I think i did let some friendships go because after some time, i grew so tired of being the initiator. Not that these people stop being your friends, but you know they've become just like any other friend: not so close as before, if they are ever considered close in the first place.

And those long-lost friends, acquaintances, ex-classmates - I sometimes would rather our paths not cross again, because i often feel lost at what to say or do - at least what to say or do without being superficial and disingenuous. I hate putting up appearances, but you know what, we all have to put up appearances in life - not all the time, but in some situations, quite often in fact. That's the way things are. But its inevitability doesn't make it any more palatable.

The flip side to all this cynicism? (And you wonder if there is a positive side!) You treasure and appreciate existing friends, you genuinely enjoy their company and friendship. And you don't grow weary - not if there's reciprocity, mutual understanding and concern. Perhaps some things (including relationships) are just not meant to be. You don't dwell on them, but you focus on others that can enjoy a meaningful outcome, those that are worth your pursuit.

So now, i did say i'm not a very sociable person, didn't I? ;)