Xie4 Xie4 Jiu4 Hao3

The location: a public toilet at a train station.

The accused: an ordinary-looking boy of around 5-years-old, wearing a cap and carrying a small haversack.

Nature of the crime: Speakcrime.

The Crime Scene:
I was washing my hands at the basin. The accused, having finished his business, walked over and used the basin next to me. Being a puny boy who has yet to gain strength and height, he reached for the tap and pressed it feebly but to no avail. He didn't have the strength to push it, so no water came out; he couldn't wash his hands.

The kind-hearted gentleman next to him - that is, yours truly - without being asked, extended his hand to press the tap for the poor fellow. The small boy put his hands under the tap and washed his hands dutifully, no doubt practising a good habit that must surely be inculcated by his parents and teachers in school.

Then, in the most appreciative and earnest voice that a 5 year-old could muster, he uttered these words with a clarity and volume that shows his good manners:

'Xie Xie UNCLE.'

UNCLE, huh?

Somwhat recalling that decorum requires of me to give an appropriate response, I smiled weakly at the expressionless boy as he turned and walked out of the toilet.

Why, was it necessary to add UNCLE after XIE XIE (Thank You in mandarin)? Ah boy, just stop at XIE XIE and you would have committed no speakcrime!

The thing is, in the local context, anyone and everyone - unless you are obviously a kid - is commonly being referred to as 'Uncle' or 'Auntie' in many situations. The people who are addressed by these titles include strangers you meet, your neighbours, your friends' parents, your relatives. Then for some groups of people whom you are acquainted with, there's the chance that you won't call them by their first name if they are more senior than you in age. One gets the sense that in our local context, there's a certain level of discomfort and feeling of disrespect felt by an individual if he were to greet someone his senior by his/her first name.

Someone once related to me that his sister and young niece from Australia had come to Singapore, and during the taxi journey from Changi airport to home, his niece was rather puzzled as to why her uncle - that is, her mum's brother - addressed the cab driver as 'Uncle'.

Finally, when she couldn't bear the weight of the curious puzzlement, she asked her mum: 'Mama, is this a (distant) relative whom we know?'

[Note: The title in Chinese Han Yu Pin Yin translates to: "Thank you will do".]