For the Nostalgic

Just what stirs feelings of nostalgia? Is it a yearning for the yesterdays that were but now etched as mere memories? Or is it an unconscious lapse into the past that is ever drifting further away from our consciousness; an impulse, if you like.

I don't know, but I think nostalgia is a self-affirming need. Who we are and how we perceive ourselves must surely be related to the past. Feeling nostalgic is about making a connection to the present with the past, and making sense of our otherwise meaningless life.

I think nostalgia is also a natural defence mechanism, being at work when we want to block off alientation, loss, fear and even frustration. Familiarity, after all, lends a sense of reassurance.

During my early years, I actually grew up listening to Chinese music. That was until I'd had enough of crap music and endless advertisement and deejays' talking on the radio. Like every generation who believe that the music of their era is the 'real stuff', the more authentic, I also think (chinese) music from the long yesteryears were much better in terms of their sincerity and meaningfulness.

During my secondary school days, a classmate of mine, who inclines towards English and all things western, once conceded that English songs can never convey emotions and feelings to the same levels of depth and intensity as chinese songs. I believe this is mainly due to the fact that Chinese is a poetic and culturally rich language, and its words convey so much more meaning and depth than the English language.

I often hear chinese pop songs from the nineties whenever I walk to or passed by the back lane that has many shops selling things. The music is loud, but most of the times I didn't mind because the songs playing were familiar and pleasant pieces. Hearing them inevitably reminded me of earlier times, and I would be suffused with a warm fuzzy sense of elation. And these days while taking the overcrowded trains, I find myself tuning in to chinese music stations, hoping to catch a familiar nice song.

Perhaps I have been living an extended period of nostalgia, trying to relive the past through the songs I once heard and enjoyed fondly. For the nostalgic, it is through yesterday's sights, sounds, smell and feel that bring back memories of our younger days. Listening to old songs reminds me just how much it is that our life journey's accompanied by music, different songs playing to different era.