Slow

The most pretty sight this morning was here. Got to take it slow to soak in the moment though.

Take me away

Take me away from home
Take me on the road to
the House of Chill
Where a river lies at its doorstep
And the sky above, Bue and Vast,
Changes its cloud formation
Like destiny changing every second.
The wind scurries and the rain cometh
But Im inside the House of Chill
Feeling warm comfy and happy.

Sunday Happy Day

Last Sunday, i managed to spent a bit of 'Me' time doing what i like and fancied myself doing when im free. I browsed Borders, bought a book and a magazine, then sat down at Toast Box and enjoyed tea and toast bread while reading my book (not the one i bought).

I think i need more of such 'Me' time. Especially for reading all the books that i want to read. Yesterday i finished one book and on Sunday i started the one that i had just bought. Both are captivating in their own ways and I feel so happy and satisfied just reading them.

I am looking forward to this weekend which i hope i will be able to find time to do what i did last Sunday - sitting down at a cafe, reading a good book. Relaxing.

Cheery

It's comforting to know that there's this virtual abode i can still retreat into without having to care too much about consequences, opinions and being feeling exposed. It's my transit inn, and thank god it still is.

A most horrible week it has been, and i should like to bring a little cheer by posting pictures! I owe too many people photos that i've taken and not shared. Promise i will upload them soon.


Happy Street


Happy Kangaroo


Happy Ramen


Happy Dessert

Man's Bra

Now, I never knew that there existed a Man's Bra. There are big breasted men around, for sure, but i've never heard such men, or others, have any need for a brassiere. Not anymore.

This afternoon i was on my way out of the office when a man wearing a bra was spotted on CNA's programme. Why, the programme is featuring the Japanese, of course: these chaps have some of the most zany and innovative ideas amongst all societies.

Anyway, i didn't catch why there was a need for man's bra, but the snippet that I caught seemed to say that there's good demand amongst men for man's bra. One interviewee, speaking in Japanese, said something to this effect: 'It's been a long time. Im so glad they now have bra for men'. I was rather amused, for i can't fgure out why men would need to wear a bra, much less be excited about wearing one.

And the CNA programme that was on TV: Amazing Asia.

Truly amazing.

Autumn Transit

My heart leapt with sheer delight when I looked up and saw the vivid red, orange and golden rust interspersed with green gleaming above and sliding past me.

I thought i glimpsed autumn.

untrained

My friend Eugene once asked me if I had a choice, would I prefer to commute by train or drive to work. Without hesitation, I said I would drive if I could and had the means. Not because I am spoilt and despise public transport, but because the truth is that travelling by train – these days, at least – is an unpleasant experience. And if someone were to ask me to compare the situation here with Japan or other countries where their trains are far more crowded, I would politely say that’s irrelevant – because I live in Singapore and not Japan or anywhere else, for that matter. It doesn’t affect me if the situation elsewhere is far worse and that because of this fact I should be thankful for what I’ve to put up with over here. No.

One can’t really expect to have a seat or few passengers on the train during the peak hours – this much is granted. And I am not so much annoyed by overcrowding as I am by the inconsideration and disagreeable habits of fellow passengers. I have to admit that sometimes it’s to no fault of others that i find myself being irritated, and I should have myself to blame for being fussy.

Just this morning, I moved to the centre of the carriage as usual and planted myself there for the rest of the journey. After a while, I found myself having to listen to the bitching over the phone by the lady standing next to me. Nothing on the train seemed to quite affect her, and she continued her conversation with what I guessed to be her colleague throughout the journey. Her tone was mildly severe and I guessed she’s the sort of woman who is very particular and who one should like to avoid crossing swords with. She had a stern expression each time I glanced her side profile.

I wished I could be oblivious to her conversation but, as someone who is fairly observant and sensitive to his surroundings, I couldn’t shut out the information that she’s feeding into the mouthpiece, even when I resorted to plugging my earphones. (I am not one who can endure loud music so the volume will never be turned up beyond a certain level.)

While I was trying hard to ignore this constant irritation to my left, I soon felt a frequent jabbing at my back on the right side. The source of the jabbing: a magazine, the owner of which is a lady of keen focus, for she perused her magazine with a concentration that could probably only be shaken if the train derailed its tracks. I do wish I had the tenacity of such folks whom I meet all too often during my journeys of survival (I travel to work and earn a living, don’t I).

These incidents (and there are many more) may seem petty and I won’t disagree to some extent. But everyone has his or her own level of preference and tolerance. What these little actions and details and occurrences do is that they conspire to encroach on my consciousness, making it impossible for me to find quiet and equilibrium in the realm of space and rest within each of us that we could and would retreat into when we need to. These are the ‘noises’ in life that we can all do without.

I don’t need to drive a car. I just need to avoid contact with the kaleidoscope of disagreeable habits that unfortunately assault each of us everyday and which we can’t escape from – unless you live on a farm faraway in the outskirts of city. Maybe then you can. Just maybe.

Pictured Words

Ever since Facebook came along, I've been posting fewer random pictures here. Most of the photos are on FB, where i can upload them and add captions easily. It's a great way to share photos there coz you can control the privacy settings - something which i consider essential. I make it a point to share the photos with friends whom i took photos of and with, for i think sharing them is basic courtesy. And besides the aesthetic pleasure of viewing well-taken shots, one certainly would be able to find joy looking at fond moments that have passed.

That aside, as i shared with JpW over dinner this evening, i like to take pictures because now and then I like to have a good picture accompany what i write. Some pictures by themselves - as the saying goes - speak a thousand words - without needing any description. They demonstrate the power of images to stir emotions and fire up imagination.

On the other hand, adding a choice picture to a piece of article - or any text, for that matter - can help (vividly) convey the writer's message, or it could increase the pleasure of reading simply by making a subtle suggestion or through association, depending on what sort of conclusions/messages the writer would like to lead his reader to.

Here's a photo that i randomly took when i stumbled on a small haven recently. After uploading it and deciding on the caption, i was inspired enough to write the following (cliched probably) as caption:

The ever delightful hint of escape. Gone with the water - and the wind.

And no, I am not suggesting my state of being - though i would very much like a quiet boat ride out. Gone with the water - and the wind.

Here's another photo that I like, not so much the photo itself, but the nice, quiet place in the photo.

i like. magazines.

Somewhere i read: 'No modern abode is complete without some casually stacked books on your coffee table to reflect your taste.'

The 'books' could have been replaced by 'magazines', and it would still come off perfectly fine. And why, that line came from a magazine i'd read, of course.

I like magazines. I like the travel sections: the picture spread and interesting stories that tell of little known facts, curious information, amazing discoveries. I like the feel of their sleek covers, the glossy pages, the captivating fonts. And i happen to think that a magazine is not good enough unless it has lots of pictures. Gorgeous pictures, no less.

I like to read magazines, to be sure. From the serious type, to the lifestyle kind. The latter, i especially like the casual mood, stylish pages and easy texts. And if it comes with well-written, intelligent articles, all the more better. Words and pictures - they can hardly go wrong with me (the nice ones, i mean).

I like flipping through magazines and letting my eyes (perhaps more than my mind) guide me through the pages till they linger, unconsciously, on a particular text or picture. So frivolous, I know. But frivolity is as much a fact and need in life as are solemnity and propriety.

And i say again, I like magazines. Oh well.

i like. here.

Of the few times i was in the area, i never felt like stepping into the store.

But not this time.

I even think I will be going back again, when i have all the time to linger, explore, sniff out the good stuff - and be surprised.

And it all started with a random decision.

l like. walking here.

One of the few things about going home late at night is that i like walking through the road that runs between the two towering HDB blocks. Avoiding the covered walkways and void decks, i would purposely walk along the empty road (save for the retired cars) that stretches some 200 metres. Despite the closeness of the blocks, the narrow road (or carpark drive-through) is almost a piece of urban oasis, lying in perfect stillness. I like walking down and feeling the openess of the area, which can only be felt at night. Usually there is a gentle wind that seemed inevitably channelled through this open passage, and when it caresses me while the calm and silence of the place is pleasantly experienced, i would feel a transient jolt of rejuvenation.

If there's a motif that weaves through my life, it could well be the desire and longing for space: unstifled, uncluttered, unrestrained; expansive, luxurious, and peaceful space in which all the weight upon one becomes distributed and, as a consequent, one feels lighter.

I like. little D.

I made friend - sort of - with cute little D who has inherited the good looks of his Dad & Mum. Feeling restless halfway through the dinner, Little D moved out of his baby seat and sat next to me, though it was more because he was bored than he took a fancy of me.

On our way to the carpark later, his mum holding his left hand, his dad walking in front, i walking alongside the family - little D stretched out his little arm and reached for my hand. It was BIG hand compared to his. He sort of casually, almost as a reflex perhaps, took my hand and curled his fingers round my forefinger and middle finger. Then he just continued walking, holding my two fingers on one side, his mum's hand on the other, swaying a little, shuffling forward, lost in his own world.

Life's a journey, Enjoy the process

There were many times in the past two weeks when I felt like penning something here. Either I was stirred by random moments of inspiration or I felt that there was something worthy of writing about. But evidently I never quite got to doing that. Right up till the first week of this year, my life had been moving on at a frenetic and often messy pace: I was literally moving with the flow without pause for reflection and refuelling. And for the first time in as many years, i broke with the tradition of sending out christmas cards by mail because I just couldn't find the time to write messages. I wasn't dead-exhausted or particularly upset, but that's more because I didn't have time to get emotionally affected. Things just keep moving, chugging along.

Then 2009 arrived. I was chilling out at a posh lounge in a 4-star hotel in Vienam when 2008 retreated into history and 2009 officially ascended to the present. Outside the hotel, the rain was beating hard and joined by the swirling wind. Celebrating the new year or pondering its meaning was the last thing on my mind. If anything, it was my pair of incorrigibly wet shoes lying in the bathroom that occupied my mind, but this is quite beside the point.

Looking back at the past year, I can only say that for me it went by faster than any years past. All the same, many good things happened even as I reached a very low point somewhere along the way when I turned a year older. My life hardly gives any inspiration and I don't intend to make a milestone list by way of looking back at 2008. But somewhat ironically, it was the weddings that I attended this month that gave me much to ponder about. Perhaps this is the 'return' I got for attending three weddings in a month (and this is only January!).

When friends around you, one by one, start to get married, it is the surest indication that you are entering another phase of your life. Those in their thirties or older might dismiss this with a sneer, for they've probably long got past this stage (been there, done that) and experienced all the attendant feelings. For those of us who are making and going through this phase however, we probably would have experienced mixed feelings of wistfulness, expectancy, hope tinged with resignation, quiet celebration - probably. It's as though the beginning of the full-fledged adult cycle has dawned, and either you are amongst the main cast or you're at the oft-conspicuous fringes, perhaps contented but hoping nevertheless that attention will not be on you.

At the end of the third wedding, i thought about all the weddings i attended and the one thing that struck me most wasn't marriage or the ang pows (red packets) given, nor was it the fact that everyone seems to be getting hitched or that wedding affairs are mostly the same. In my mind, I was thinking that even as I sometimes speak with dread of the impending wedding (and invites), I've come to recognise that I am going through a definite phase in Life that eventually will come to pass. The poignancy lies in recognition that just as our schooling days make up and are essential to our life journey, so is everything - the good and the bad - that we are currently going through, including something as life-reaffirming as marriage and weddings. The transience of all things is what gives them a bitter-sweet taste, a sombre reminder of the fragile beauty of Life.

Not everything is pleasant admittedly, but i see the importance is to recognise that life is an ongoing journey that will see each of us through similar stages experienced individually. And guess what, the journey is forward going and we all have only one chance to experience and live through each stage, which is ultimately determined most by the time (age) factor. I guess this is just my way of seeing things in perspective, and doing so has allowed me to appreciate what I go through.

Wedding was not the main reason for provoking thoughtfulness; truth be told, it was friendship and friends i met at weddings that prompted introspection. As wedding couples go through rites and live the moment of their wedding banquet, it is reunion for different groups of guests who are associated with one another usually through some significant experiences. As we grow older and each of us has our own commitments and personal life to pursue, one of the hardest things to do is to maintain your relationship with friends. I do regret that some friends aren't as close as before while some friendships i'd have liked to build and see them last did not turn out the way. Unfortunately, when it comes to human relationships, reciprocation is as critical as efforts and chemistry. So, even if not every friendship is ideal, i am making it a point and will continue to make the effort to connect and keep in touch with people whose friendship i treasure and enjoy. Tough work there, but if there's one thing that deserves your focus and attention, this is one worthy cause.

That's all I have for now. 4.50am on the third day of Chinese New Year. I will have to be in office in less than 5 hours time. It's the process, my life's journey, i must remind myself...

Cheers to a fulfilling 2009, all my friends!