i feel very relieved and just happy that all the rushing and the presentation itself is now over. slept on the sofa last night; woke up in the morning and continued to pore over my notes and literally worked till the last minute. class was at 4 and i finished my presentation notes only at 330pm, rushed out of home and took a cab down to school, then rushed again to the printing room to print copies of my notes for the class before flying off to the classroom which is located faraway. but finally just now i could take all the time i wanted to have my dinner.
the prof finally realised that it wasn't a wise move to have students work on the presentation topic before he covers them in lecture. and so he's going to have the next 2 classes pushed back till the final week of the semester. the module is after all highly theoretical and the notes aren't simple to comprehend. why i chose to do the earlier topic then? coz i wanted to get it over and done with. so now i am done with presentations for the semester. bad thing is: there're 3 essays, 1 project and 3 more tests to see me through the rest of the weeks. in particular, that pharmacy module i am taking is going to kill me with the gargantuan amount of memory work that's going to be needed. sucks.
yesterday i had lunch with Josh and as usual it is always interesting talking with him. he was my buddy during a certain phase during my army stint and i am glad we had the chance to be friends, to stay as good friends even though we rarely are able to meet up.
in army you inevitably make many friends but who are otherwise just acquaintances. on many occasions i've met these acquintances/army-mates around on campus, but because neither the other party nor i made an effort to say hi or smile when we first met again after army days, it became that we behaved as though neither of us knew each other. since our looks haven't had any drastic changes, it's highly unlikely that we've forgotten who the other person is. i mean, some of us went through horrible times with the same group of people, you can't just erase that person's face off your memory. besides this group of people i knew through army, the other group are some primary school friends whom i have never spoken much to during those early years.
thing is, you can't help but feel this sense of awkwardness whenever you see these people. maybe the first time when i saw them i ought to have taken the first step - but no, i'm not the very friendly sort, you know. like them, i just fix my gaze elsewhere. it's just hard to make that extra effort to establish connection once more. there's just a stubborn inertia that holds you back and makes you hope the other person will instead come forward to you. if neither does, then too bad.
i just pray i won't ever end up in a same class as these people. otherwise it will be extremely embarrassing and awkward to exclaim surprise, like 'oh yah, you are...' or 'do you remember...?'
for now, i shall take a break tonight and decide if i want to rush the project that is due this friday. yes, there're neverending datelines to meet. but i try to remind myself i ought to enjoy no matter how bad things are. besides the pharmacy module, i'm glad that for the rest, i enjoy studying and gaining insight into the subjects and issues that are involved. this should always be the case.
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