In the yester-yesteryear of primary school days, when we were blissfully still little kids who prance around and live a social existence oblivious of human treachery, unaware of social decorum and the complexities of human relationships, we uttered one too many silly thing - things that on retrospect you can't recall or disbelieve that you actually said them. But we needn't be surprised, really. It is probably not far from the truth that over the years each and everyone of us would have accumulated legions of remarks we wished we had never uttered - remarks that are variously unbelievably stupid, silly, outrageous, bizarre, ridiculous, harsh, hurtful or just simply unnecessary. And it is perhaps not implausible that all these qualities may all at once be present in some of the things that were ever said.
I found myself in embarrassment and disbelief when i met a primary school classmate once. And yes, as you would soon hear of, apparently i'd ever said something very horrible. But bear in mind i was then in all respects pretty much still a KID. And as we all know, kids can be really pesky and nasty; they say things in plain terms, from genuine opinions to downright silly but hilarious stuff; they are little devils and angels all at once. (Yeah, in case you don't know, i'm now providing advance justification for my imminent revelation.)
You know, because this is tiny Singapore, for a good majority of us born and bred here, the paths that we and our peers take often cross and converge. The ex-primary school classmate that i had met came from the same university as me, and needless to say, there were occasions when we would bump into each other (she also lives very near my place). She's the loquacious sort of person, and unrestrained by the inhibitions that normally make many girls shy talking, she's clearly comfortable speaking with both guys and girls. Together with a few other ex-classmates who lived in the same area, we used to hang around together after classes, sometimes playing catching in the playgrounds that used to be an ubiquitous sight in our neighbourhood. I also remember her as candid and brash speaking, but always confident and strong in the face of consistently frequent biting reprimands by our form teacher. In fact, many of us had to be strong, for we had a tough lady teacher who practised favouritism. She was affectionate to the academically strong students and especially harsh and biased against the weaker ones (of which i fall under this category). As we were talking about our primary school days and classmates, this friend of mine recalled bitterly how vulnerable she felt then, what with a stern, biased teacher being so harsh on an 11 year old kid.
She went on and told me many details of our primary school days, and i was rather stunned by her amazing memory. It seems she could recall so many things that I just couldn't remember. In fact, her memory is so fantastic that it apparently retained certain things that would suggest i was not a perfect, sensitive, kind and lovable boy at the age of 11 years. I really thought i was a very nice person like i am now (smirks). But i had to be proven wrong.
"Do you remember you said i was the ugliest girl when we were in primary school?"
I would like to say, in all honesty, i don't. And by the way, are you sure you remember correctly? Oh well, so the truth is i am capable of such hurtful, spiteful remarks. But because i do not have the benefit of good and clear memory, there's no ascertaining under what circumstances were those words said. But one thing is for sure - they've clearly stuck in her mind since. Oh boy, now i can add another charge to my accumulating list of sins i've committed. Fine, i shall say more nice things to my friends from now on to compensate for all that. And to somewhat redeem myself a little, my friend can take comfort to know that she certainly isn't ugly now. I doubt i genuinely believed she was ugly at 11 years old also. Hell, there are many uglier people around - and to this, i can safely say that my sin-list has yet taken another huge leap upwards...
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